Sex SMS - Textintouch

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'SMS Messages on 'Sex SMS' Category

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SMS Message posted by Admin

1.- What is de maximum speed during sex? .... 68, because at 69 ... What is de maximum speed during sex? .... 68, because at 69 you go overturn!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

2.- "This won't hurt, I promise."... "This won't hurt, I promise."
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SMS Message posted by Admin

3.- A good neighbour is better dan an inflatable doll !... A good neighbour is better dan an inflatable doll !
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SMS Message posted by Admin

4.- A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play Magic? She s... A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play Magic? She says: What's that? .....He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you dissappear.....
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SMS Message posted by Admin

5.- A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play magic? She ask... A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play magic? She asks: What do you mean? He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you disappear!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

6.- A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love... A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

7.- A man in the house is worth two in the street.... A man in the house is worth two in the street.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

8.- A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.... A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

9.- A peach is a peach, A plum is a plum, A kiss ain't a kiss, w... A peach is a peach, A plum is a plum, A kiss ain't a kiss, without some tounge. So open up your mouth, and close your eyes, and give your tounge Some exercise!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

10.- A peach is a peach,a plum is a plum,A kiss ain't a kiss with... A peach is a peach,a plum is a plum,A kiss ain't a kiss without some tongue.So open up your mouth and close you eyes and give your tongue some exercises!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

11.- A woman is like a pair of rubber boots. When they are dry, y... A woman is like a pair of rubber boots. When they are dry, you cannot enter them, when they are wet, they smell and when you walk on the street with them, people laugh at you.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

12.- A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the... A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

13.- Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.... Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

14.- American students say:.....people who never experience good ... American students say:.....people who never experience good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read their SMS messages with their right hand
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SMS Message posted by Admin

15.- Are mice giving you trouble? No? Than you must have a good p... Are mice giving you trouble? No? Than you must have a good pussy!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

16.- Are these your eyes? I found them between my brests!... Are these your eyes? I found them between my brests!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

17.- Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.... Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

18.- Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a l... Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

19.- By opening this message you activated the dildo of your girl... By opening this message you activated the dildo of your girlfriend. She thanks you moaning...You have now become unnecessary.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

20.- CONFICIUS SAY: BOY WHO GO TO SLEEP WITH STIFF PROBLEM WAKE U... CONFICIUS SAY: BOY WHO GO TO SLEEP WITH STIFF PROBLEM WAKE UP WITH SOLUTION IN HAND.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

21.- Do it only with the best.... Do it only with the best.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

22.- Do you know the highest level you can reach during sex? ....... Do you know the highest level you can reach during sex? ................................. no?...................................... Bungler !
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SMS Message posted by Admin

23.- Do you know why a waterbed needs to be filled with seawater?... Do you know why a waterbed needs to be filled with seawater?...For the mussels need to be able to open.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

24.- Do you know why smurfs always laugh? Because the grass alway... Do you know why smurfs always laugh? Because the grass always tickles their little balls!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

25.- Do you want to have sex with me? For $50! Please please plea... Do you want to have sex with me? For $50! Please please please....I really need the money!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

26.- Don't be silly, put a condom on your willy.... Don't be silly, put a condom on your willy.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

27.- Don't do it if you can't keep it up.... Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

28.- Eva stood in the river washing her cunt when God comes runni... Eva stood in the river washing her cunt when God comes running to her and shouts: EVA EVA STOP, I WON'T GET THE SMELL OF THE FISH.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

29.- Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.... Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

30.- Fuck is good. Fuck is funny. Lots of people. Fuck for money.... Fuck is good. Fuck is funny. Lots of people. Fuck for money. If you think that. Fuck is funny. Fuck yourself and save your money!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

31.- God created the world in SIX days But it took him centuries.... God created the world in SIX days But it took him centuries... to come up with someone...as "HOT" ... as "SEXY" ... as "Fuckable" ... ..As "YOU!" ..
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SMS Message posted by Admin

32.- Hi, I am an alien and I've just transformed in your phone an... Hi, I am an alien and I've just transformed in your phone and right now I'm having sex with your finger. I know you like it because you're smiling now!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

33.- Hi, I am an alien and I've just transformed into your phone ... Hi, I am an alien and I've just transformed into your phone and right now I'm having sex with your finger. I know you like it, because you're smiling now!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

34.- How does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose! ... How does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose! And after sex? Ever seen a Bulldog eating Mayonaise?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

35.- How does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose! ... How does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose! And after sex? Ever seen a Bulldog eating Mayonaise??
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SMS Message posted by Admin

36.- Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore, Humpty Dumpty blew on the ... Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore, Humpty Dumpty blew on the floor. All the kings horses & all the kings men, laid the slut down & fucked her again!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

37.- I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as handsome ... I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

38.- I like your style. I like your class, but most of all i like... I like your style. I like your class, but most of all i like your ass.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

39.- I love you in blue. I love you in red but most of all. I lov... I love you in blue. I love you in red but most of all. I love you in bed.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

40.- I think I have BSE on my penis ...... all women who experien... I think I have BSE on my penis ...... all women who experienced it go crazy !
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SMS Message posted by Admin

41.- I want you right, right now, why don't you come on over and ... I want you right, right now, why don't you come on over and let's do now!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

42.- I want you to ride me like a pony! Hiyaaaaaa…... I want you to ride me like a pony! Hiyaaaaaa…
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SMS Message posted by Admin

43.- I'm a bit shy...I'd like to have sex with you, you do not ha... I'm a bit shy...I'd like to have sex with you, you do not have to say yes, just smile to me!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

44.- If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had ... If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

45.- If you cry, I cry...if you laugh, I laugh...if you are happy... If you cry, I cry...if you laugh, I laugh...if you are happy, I am too...if you are sad, I am too...and if you are horny, call me.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

46.- If you don't like oral sex than keep your mouth shut!!... If you don't like oral sex than keep your mouth shut!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

47.- If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will fo... If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

48.- If you want a little brother,... If you want a little brother,
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SMS Message posted by Admin

49.- ill your dad and fuck your mother.... ill your dad and fuck your mother.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

50.- It is always the wrong time of month.... It is always the wrong time of month.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

51.- It is better to be looked over than overlooked.... It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

52.- It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved... It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

53.- It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground ... It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

54.- Just to let you know that I went to heaven and back...... Just to let you know that I went to heaven and back...
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SMS Message posted by Admin

55.- Kiss me and you will see stars; Love me and I will give them... Kiss me and you will see stars; Love me and I will give them to you.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

56.- Love comes in spurts.... Love comes in spurts.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

57.- Love is a hole in the heart.... Love is a hole in the heart.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

58.- Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.... Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

59.- Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the ... Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

60.- Love is a thing, sex is also a thing.... Love is a thing, sex is also a thing.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

61.- Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.... Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

62.- Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.... Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

63.- Love your neighbour, but don't get caught.... Love your neighbour, but don't get caught.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

64.- Masturbation, don't knock it, it's sex with someone I love..... Masturbation, don't knock it, it's sex with someone I love...
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SMS Message posted by Admin

65.- Mean people suck, Nice people swallow! !... Mean people suck, Nice people swallow! !
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SMS Message posted by Admin

66.- Message from you provider: Your dildo is disturbing our netw... Message from you provider: Your dildo is disturbing our network. Turn it off or continue manually. Thanks for your cooperation.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

67.- Neuk een wijf in dr kont, stamp die anus tot ze komt.S mijt ... Neuk een wijf in dr kont, stamp die anus tot ze komt.S mijt je benen in de lucht, laat je pijpen in een vlucht. Krab de shit van je paal, anaal neuken is geniaal!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

68.- Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.... Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

69.- Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not sto... Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

70.- Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.... Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

71.- Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you... Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

72.- Never say no.... Never say no.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

73.- Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.... Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

74.- Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.... Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

75.- No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take... No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

76.- No sex with anyone in the same office.... No sex with anyone in the same office.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

77.- Nothing improves with age.... Nothing improves with age.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

78.- One good turn gets most of the blankets.... One good turn gets most of the blankets.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

79.- Pornography tells lies about women, but the truth about men.... Pornography tells lies about women, but the truth about men.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

80.- Press down......down more......ok......more......yes......ah... Press down......down more......ok......more......yes......ahh.......yes......almost there......yeah......oh shit......harder......so good! Yeah, that's textual intercourse!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

81.- Press down......down more......ok......more......yes......ah... Press down......down more......ok......more......yes......ahh......ohh......yes......almost there......yeah......oh shit......harder......so good! mmmm ......................That's how we sex on text.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

82.- Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support... Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

83.- Roses are red ... Pickles are green ... I love your legs and... Roses are red ... Pickles are green ... I love your legs and whats in between
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SMS Message posted by Admin

84.- Roses are red, Pickles are green. I love your legs and whats... Roses are red, Pickles are green. I love your legs and whats in between.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

85.- Screw calmly and without worries, if you do not come today, ... Screw calmly and without worries, if you do not come today, it may happen tomorrow !
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SMS Message posted by Admin

86.- Searching(sex)...... Done... Iedereen is op dit moment met S... Searching(sex)...... Done... Iedereen is op dit moment met SEX bezig. ...Wait a sec plz... Maar er is een zot zonder sex dit klotebericht aan het lezen!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

87.- Searching(sex)......Done...Everybody is having sex at this v... Searching(sex)......Done...Everybody is having sex at this very moment....Wait a sec...There is only one sucker reading this message!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

88.- Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think ... Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

89.- Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.... Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

90.- Sex has no calories.... Sex has no calories.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

91.- Sex is a sensation caused by temptation,when a man puts his ... Sex is a sensation caused by temptation,when a man puts his location in a woman's destination,do U understand the explination or would U like a demonstration
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SMS Message posted by Admin

92.- Sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temptation, putting h... Sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temptation, putting his location in a woman's destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a demonstration?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

93.- Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned fo... Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

94.- Sex is dirty only if it's done right.... Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

95.- Sex is good for your stomach muscles and much more fun than ... Sex is good for your stomach muscles and much more fun than fitness
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SMS Message posted by Admin

96.- Sex is good, sex is fine, doggy style or 69, just for fun or... Sex is good, sex is fine, doggy style or 69, just for fun or getting paid everyone loves getting laid.u'll get laid.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

97.- Sex is good,sex is funny, all the people fuck for money! If ... Sex is good,sex is funny, all the people fuck for money! If you think love is funny, fuck yourself and safe the money!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

98.- Sex is good,sex is funny, all the people fuck for money!If y... Sex is good,sex is funny, all the people fuck for money!If you think love is funny, fuck yourself and safe the money!!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

99.- Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are... Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

100.- Sex is like Math, Add the Bed, Subtract the Clothes, Divide ... Sex is like Math, Add the Bed, Subtract the Clothes, Divide the Legs and Multiply!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

101.- Sex is like Nike, just do it.... Sex is like Nike, just do it.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

102.- sex is like nokia (connecting people) like nike (just do it)... sex is like nokia (connecting people) like nike (just do it) like pepsi (ask for more) and like samsung (everybody is invited)
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SMS Message posted by Admin

103.- Sex is like NOKIA (connecting people) like NIKE (just do it)... Sex is like NOKIA (connecting people) like NIKE (just do it) like PEPSI (ask for more) like SAMSUNG (everyone is invited) and like ME (TO GOOD TO BE TRUE)..
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SMS Message posted by Admin

104.- Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its ba... Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good
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SMS Message posted by Admin

105.- Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are goi... Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

106.- Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other ... Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

107.- Sex is the game, Love is a name, Forget the name ...... Lets... Sex is the game, Love is a name, Forget the name ...... Lets PLAY the game.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

108.- SEX is the game, Love is a name, Forget the name ...... Lets... SEX is the game, Love is a name, Forget the name ...... Lets PLAY the game. Laws of sex
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SMS Message posted by Admin

109.- Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most am... Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

110.- Sex, drugs & rock n roll, speed weed & birth control, life's... Sex, drugs & rock n roll, speed weed & birth control, life's a bitch, then u die, so fuck the world & lets get high!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

111.- Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.... Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

112.- Sorry, the fuckmachine is out of order, so fuck yourself and... Sorry, the fuckmachine is out of order, so fuck yourself and save a quarter.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

113.- Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray ... Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

114.- Text messaging is like a blow-job off an amateur prostitute;... Text messaging is like a blow-job off an amateur prostitute; short...sweet and always cheap!!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

115.- The 3 miracles of a woman: produce milk without eating grass... The 3 miracles of a woman: produce milk without eating grass, 4 days of bleeding without dieing, letting a man come without yelling.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

116.- The best anti-virus program for a computer is SAFE-SEX. Leav... The best anti-virus program for a computer is SAFE-SEX. Leave the plastic cover on the floppy when inserting in drive.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

117.- The best way to hold a man is in your arms.... The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

118.- The boy puts his information in her communication and togeth... The boy puts his information in her communication and together they make population!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

119.- The difference between erotic and perverted: Erotic = caress... The difference between erotic and perverted: Erotic = caress the vagina with a beautiful white whisp Perverted = do the same thing with a whole chicken.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

120.- The first day we met,I wanted you in my bed.Today I'll know ... The first day we met,I wanted you in my bed.Today I'll know better,so I'll write it in my letter.In my bed I've seen so many faces,so I'll fuck you at different places
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SMS Message posted by Admin

121.- The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.... The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

122.- The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it... The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

123.- The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually... The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

124.- The world does not revolve on an axis.... The world does not revolve on an axis.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

125.- The younger the better.... The younger the better.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

126.- There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when th... There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

127.- There is no remedy for sex but more sex.... There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

128.- There is: Hot-Sex, Fast-Sex, Safe-Sex, Group-Sex, Leather-Se... There is: Hot-Sex, Fast-Sex, Safe-Sex, Group-Sex, Leather-Sex, Telephone-Sex, Cyber-Sex, and for people with your face: "No-Sex"!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

129.- There may be some things better than sex, and some things wo... There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

130.- This program will automatically enlarge your penis. Now star... This program will automatically enlarge your penis. Now starting...beep 6 5 4 3.....beep 2 1....Sorry no penis found!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

131.- Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.... Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

132.- Virginity can be cured.... Virginity can be cured.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

133.- What did Eva shout when she wanted to have SEX ?? ............. What did Eva shout when she wanted to have SEX ?? ............. ADAM WHERE ARE YOU !!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

134.- What does position 68 mean........You are doing me and I owe... What does position 68 mean........You are doing me and I owe you one!!
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135.- What is the difference between a man and a dildo?......... A... What is the difference between a man and a dildo?......... A man is a REAL PRICK!!!!
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136.- What is the resemblance between a windscreen wiper and a wom... What is the resemblance between a windscreen wiper and a woman? ... When they are wet, they do not squeak any more!
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137.- What is the resemblance between a woman and a condom?.......... What is the resemblance between a woman and a condom?................ They both fit around your dick and are present in your wallet
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138.- What is the smallest airplane in the world,a cunt... Only on... What is the smallest airplane in the world,a cunt... Only one man fits in it, he needs to stand, his luggage stays outside and he still gets off ...
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139.- What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in... What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
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140.- What you never want to hear while having good sex?? ........... What you never want to hear while having good sex?? ............. "Honey, I am home!"
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141.- When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stop... When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
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142.- When I was born I got the choice, or a major dick, or a fine... When I was born I got the choice, or a major dick, or a fine memory. I am not able to remember what I did choose.
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143.- When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.... When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
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144.- Why does a woman have two pair of lips?................... O... Why does a woman have two pair of lips?................... One is for fighting and one is to make up.
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145.- Women are like little children, they put everything they see... Women are like little children, they put everything they see in their mouth.
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146.- You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine ... You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
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147.- you do not have to be good to be the best as long as you are... you do not have to be good to be the best as long as you are better than all the rest!!
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148.- Zwaai uw tieten in het rond, schuur je clitoris op de grond,... Zwaai uw tieten in het rond, schuur je clitoris op de grond, stop 4 vingers in je kut, ram die kittelaar tot frut, bevredig je met een gans, dit is de mastrubatiedans.
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